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From Under the Bus


A friend recently called angry and complaining about the lack of loyalty of a DJ friend.  I listened patiently as I chuckled to myself at how similar my friend’s story sounded to many stories of my own.  Me saying, “That’s just how it is sometimes” seemed to send him into a bit of a rage.

I know, your friend’s job as a DJ is in jeopardy and you go to bat for him, risking your own gig in the process.  You get your friend to keep his job and at the first opportunity he throws you under the bus for a couple of extra bucks.  No loyalty. 

This has happened to me recently, has happened to me in the past and will happen to me in the future.  What we tend to forget is that a DJ is a person…which is the root word of “personality”.  With that personality comes drug problems, relationship problems, mental problems, intelligence (or lack thereof), insecurities and a slew of other things that defined that person before they became a DJ.  Now they are just a DJ with the aforementioned problems.  A good gauge for figuring people out when they throw you under the bus is to look around and see how many friends they have.  If the answer to your question is “not that many”, there is a reason for that. 

My words didn’t seem to comfort my angry friend and he blurted out, “I should have never taught him how to DJ”.  I disagreed.  I said, “Sure, your friend sounds like an a-hole, but I believe in the idea that you should never feel bad for helping someone.  Instead of handing out a fish, you taught a man to fish.  You should feel good about yourself.  There are people in the world that just can’t live up to the high standards of being your friend.  That’s not your problem…that’s their problem.” 

Many people that I’ve helped and stood up for have thrown me under the bus.  It’s an unpleasant experience, but I can only be disappointed and not mad.  I just see it as a character flaw within that individual that guarantees that person will never get my help again.  All learning experiences don’t feel good.  It’s never about them hating me…it’s always about them hating them.  In my situation, I already have more friends than I can get around to, so having one less crappy friend isn’t going to send me into a tailspin of depression (especially not in a work environment).  Later, and don’t be a hater.


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